General (Shoe) Business I

Did you ever know that you cannot store anything on your balcony even if you pay rent for it? Talk about a waste of square footage. The building instructor vehemently stressed on the need for emptiness on the space -- how Zen of her.

This has forced me to rethink the organisation of my footwear collection, more accurately; the need for proper organisation of my footwear collection. Seeing that I'm on a "shopping ban", I have decided to pay more attention to the current stash of shoes, particularly to the conditioning aspect.

I, for one, find it rude when we subject our shoes to snow, sand, and salt and expect them to continue looking good after the vigorous beating. Good-looking, well-aged leathers require some love.

See for yourself the exhibit of shoes below, in cowhide and snakeskin for the footwear, and lambskin for the owl wristlet (my impulse buy from Marc on Bleecker, back in July).

I don't remember when I started getting religious about leather conditioning but it was probably when I started buying some French and Italian bags and I immediately became serious about "protecting my investment" -- a somewhat lovelorn idea.

The only thing I will say about leather conditioning is that it is time-consuming but worth it. Like all great outcomes, this kind of loving takes time; at least 24 hours but I do 48 hours if I can spare it. I use the museum curator stuff from Pecard, which I recommend to all of you (including your soon-to-be-very soft-hands).

Holy Cow, McQueen!

No, no. NOOOOOOOO!

Artistic, yes. Futuristic, maybe. Pushing the limit, really; I mean; Jesus Christ!

This recalls Chinese foot binding mumbo jumbo. It's just not flattering, Alexander! Sadly, your boldness will be mistaken for genius and truckloads will follow suit.

I suspect the (hidden) platform alone is at least six inches high. If you want to look like you have flower pots as feet, be my guest.

Jibber jabber!

If God did not want women to wear high heels, then Jesus must have sent this to Givenchy

Dear Steve Madden,

Greetings.

I don't often buy your shoes. They are poorly made, and are blatantly copies of everything that is relevant on the most recent runway shows in New York, Milan, and Paris. Inspiration is abundant but you and your team are lazy, so you make copies and charge too much for your lack of creativity.

But please; perhaps you can make yourself useful for once; copy this shoe. I understand that crocodile skin is more expensive than the price points your customers are used to. Perhaps you can just use embossed leather, calfskin preferably. Perhaps. Please.

I look forward to seeing this product on retail shelves.


Best,
The Cherry Junkie


p/s: Kindly forward my request to Forever 21 if you are not able to produce the most marvellous open toe ankle boots ever created to date, as shown above.

Nice shoes in Ann Arbor, MI

It was April Fool's Day yesterday and I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw these two people walking down the street. While they were not particularly spectacular, their feet gave them away and I suspect that were anything but Midwestern American.

The man on the left had on the slimmest dark wash jeans only Hedi Slimane would approve of, and a pair of deep red (almost cordovan coloured) driving loafers. Trust me, the pictures really do not show how immensely slim his jeans were –- not tight; just very, very slim; like matchsticks. The lady walking with him wore two of Spring's most important items: leggings, and the nude peep-toe platform stiletto pump.

Ah, delightful. Seeing them definitely made my day. I feel a shoe purchase coming on. Oh, no!

God is an Italian cobbler Part II

This is about a bunch of shoes I ordered before the recession but they came recently and I wasn't really bothered to deal with them until now because ... well, I've had to get rid of some of them.

Before I start my homage to all Italian cobblers I want to give a shout out to the team that designs the footwear collections each season at Calvin Klein. They've really always been dismissible but about 3 years ago, the quality and the design that has come out of the White Label and Collection lines have been amazing. I now wear both lines quite fanatically.

So, in this 21st century day of mass-produced manufacturing, why does Calvin Klein still bother to make shoes in Italy? Let's be honest, people will still be suckered to pay $700 for a pair of Christian Louboutin even if he decided to make them in Afghanistan. And while Italian shoe manufacturing processes are widely known and documented (read: Salvatore Ferragamo gluing only half of the footstep base sole), how has Calvin Klein managed to convince the folks working at the Italian shoe factories to give individual attention to each shoe in his line?

I present to you the hand-hammered sole! I know -- when was the last time you saw something like this? I think they only do these on custom men's leather shoes (maybe John Lobb; everyone else has gotten lazy). Take a look below:

CK does the matte black box. I like.

My favourite of the bunch. Can you tell?

Close-up of the vamp. This shoe is so friggin' gorgeous. I am not kidding.

Shearling and suede booties. I bit out of my usual range but I was being adventurous because it is best to embrace the current times.

So here is the hand-hammered sole. See the little nails at the sole curve leading to the arch.

There are also 3 little nails hammered into the tip of the sole below the vamp.

Little nails, woweee!

Now on to the heels, which is the only reason women buy shoes. This one is architectural.

This one has nice exposed stitching on the outer back seam.

Too bad this pair is not in my size. Look how awesome the patent contrasts with the matte cowhide.

*Sob*sob* Bye bye nice shoes.

God is an Italian cobbler

More to come on this beauty.

Neon in Ann Arbor, MI

There were four steel-blue-eyed girls on the bus yesterday chatting away in a Germanic tongue (probably Dutch or German) and two of them had interesting things on their feet.

Exhibit A had neon pink socks pulled up high over her skinny jeans. In fact I could not even so the hem where her skinny jeans ended so that means either her jeans were really tight or the socks were really thick, or both. She was rocking K-Swiss kicks with black laces. Nice.

Exhibit B had a pair of Nike kicks in Scotti tartan with a neon green swoosh. I am not an expert in Nike sneakers but I am quite familiar with the collections sold in stores here. I am confident the pair on the European girl has not been distributed here (yet). They always give the nice things to the Europeans first. Why?

What not to wear to the Grammy Awards, other award shows, or at any point in your life

I watched the Grammy red carpet show for about 15 minutes and the one thing I noticed most about this year's event was the invasion of the Brits, and their much classier style. I heard Adele was styled by Anna Wintour herself. Of course, as Andre Leon Talley has put in kind words, "Miss Anna don't like fat girls," so Adele was dressed in a black knee-length dress, black tights, black shoes ... you get my point. And to top it all off, she wore a knee-length (also) viper green, structured shantung silk coat. If indeed Miss Anna styled the Grammy winner, then it was all in "textbook flaw-minimising" pieces.

As for the folks below, I think you should be cautious of what you wear regardless of whether you are Hollywood (wannabe) material or otherwise. Please take note everyone:

I just wanted to start off gently with this shot of the next comeback queen, Whitney Houston. I adore her. I saw that illegal clip of her performance at Clive Davis' pre-Grammy party and I am filled with hope of her return to glory. Beyonce always needed some competition anyway. But as for this dress, it's a little busy. (This was something I expected Miss Knowles to wear, not Miss Houston). The watercolour shadings are not flattering on anyone. Give this a miss. I had a dress like this. I wore it once and it's still sitting pretty in my closet. We all learn.

Sheryl Crow's dress is a lesson on proportion. The length is a little scant, hence it makes the side slit quite awkward. Otherwise, she looks great, but tone down on the fake bake.

If your name is not Angeline Jolie or Megan Fox, you must never attempt this look. Yes, that means you, Lisa Rinna. Ironically, this is the best Lisa Rinna has looked in decades. As always, watch for the embellishments, ladies. The one of Miss Rinna's gown looks home-crafty-tacky.

First of all, who the hell is Phoebe Price? What is she famous for? Someone please enlighten me. She constantly gets into the tabloid pages and gossip columns for her poor sense of style, and she's always throwing a fit. Is she someone's wife or daughter? I'd like to know why she's always so upset and dressed just as bad.

This dress gets the award for French cigarette butt pelting. Just all sorts of no, no, no.

I guess you could say if Paris is not naked, it's always an improvement. Ladies, again, watch the fake bake.

This one gets the Italian tomato pelting award, commonly known as "Aww, hell naww!" This is when you shouldn't wear last year's biggest colour trend: this year. And inner-wear-as-outer-wear was retired in the 80s, when Madonna was still that crazy Catholic girl from Detroit. By the way, the lady here is Nikki Cox, wife of Jay Mohr (the comedian). I know -- who?

This one gets the "Oh, no she didn't!" Award. Being at full term and expecting delivery on Grammy Award night, M.I.A. decided to ease herself into this ugly getup. Good Lord, you should have seen what she wore when she was performing with the "Rap Pack". I think pregnancy does all kinds of injustice to your figure and no woman should be insane enough to add on to the damage with this atrocious who-the-hell-designed-this ... I am lost for words already.


Does anyone remember how Jennifer Hudson was crucified for her little metallic shrug jacket made by Valentino that she wore with her brown Valentino gown, the year she won her Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. Yeah, even this much metallic will not fly at the Grammys. Estelle is English, so I shall use a more appropriate word for her ensemble: campy.

And last but not least, never ever wear anything Bai Ling wears, ever. This woman claims to have good taste in fashion. Every Asian on this planet is embarrassed just to have any genetic connection to her. Gawd, save us!

Go back to your box

Over two months ago, I visited my good ole Banana Republic store and bought up a whole bunch of stuff with a very generous card member coupon. On the way out at the checkout line, I spotted a few nifty looking shoes and yelled out my size. The SAs brought me the goods and I was gone. So this was my first mistake: I assumed BR sizing was on with the rest of the world. I really should have known better because at BR, my clothing size would make anyone think I were a runway model when I know even after 30 pounds is removed from my frame, I'd still be "not sample size".

Being a long-time devotee of Gap, Inc.'s only shining star, I was immensely disappointed with the shoes when I tried them on at home. The size was too big, the material horrendous. It was heartbreaking. There were leather uppers and inners and the colours were perfect. But the stiff material left much to be desired and worse of all, the pair that was designed into a wingtip Mary-Jane style stiletto was asymmetrical. I repeat: the left shoe and the right shoe did not look alike. That pair was a decent $180. People who buy Italian will tell me, "You got what you paid for, dah-ling," but I disagree. I don't care how cheap or expensive your shoes are. If they are asymmetrical, that means the world has gone to hell. I wish I had taken a picture of the shoes before I sent it back.

Eventually, I kept one pair from BR. It had passed the house testing phase and I took it to work today.

Sidebar: Yes, I do not use my purchases immediately. I usually wait 2-6 months to get stuff out into the public. It's an old habit but I have cut down the wait time significantly over the last few years.

Back to the story: I put this lovely pair of BR Nicole ombre patent leather pumps on. I walked around the office. It was all cool. Then I went down to the cafeteria for lunch. Before I could get there, I walked right back up to my desk and changed my shoes. I was pissed. These shoes were symmetrical but they hated me. The rigidity ensured that I could not take more than 10 steps and continue to feel comfortable; the leather sock lining pinch on the skin of my toes like piranhas. I don't even have wide feet and I easily wear French and Italian shoes, which are cut slim. These pumps were a disaster, a beautiful disaster.

So tell me, where else can I find ombre pumps that will love my feet without having to resort to faux leather?