Narcissism at its finest

This is the man and this is his neck piece. As Trey Kerby so aptly describes it, "Forged in the fires of Mordor from 1,300 grams (or 2.9 pounds) of 14-karat gold." And yes, it is smothered in diamonds. I think the chains as dreads element is genius. Good job, Marquis Daniels.

Python is ... who cares ... I want it!

Yes. Yes. O be still my beating heart. Is this perfection or what?

The most surprising discovery I made today was stumbling across a fantastic and well-edited Zagliani and Pauric Sweeney python-only collection, about half a dozen bags in varying sizes and colours but mostly metallics, at a store on the luxury retail floor of my favourite mall in the city.

I was just astounded, mainly because retailing is demand and supply and no one this side of Asia let alone wee-little-old-corner-of-the-equator here has actually heard of Dr. Zagliani and his crazy silicone injections or the youthful genius that is Pauric Sweeney. As the stereotype goes, it really is monogram lovers land here.

I asked the Sales Assistant if any of these bags had been sold and she said yes. I was floored. So there is a lone retail buyer out there who has been stocking these beautiful exotic bags to the tune of almost (after conversion) USD 3,700, which is borderline rip-off. Clearly there is a discerning woman or a very generous man in the city whom actually gets the whole idea of buying the best in the business, and not merely just buying a brand that is Vuitton, or Chanel, or Dior.

But back to the PS1 in Python: I am pleased that there are still many wonderful things (literally) to look forward to (owning) in life.

What not to wear to the Grammy Awards, other award shows, or at any point in your life

I watched the Grammy red carpet show for about 15 minutes and the one thing I noticed most about this year's event was the invasion of the Brits, and their much classier style. I heard Adele was styled by Anna Wintour herself. Of course, as Andre Leon Talley has put in kind words, "Miss Anna don't like fat girls," so Adele was dressed in a black knee-length dress, black tights, black shoes ... you get my point. And to top it all off, she wore a knee-length (also) viper green, structured shantung silk coat. If indeed Miss Anna styled the Grammy winner, then it was all in "textbook flaw-minimising" pieces.

As for the folks below, I think you should be cautious of what you wear regardless of whether you are Hollywood (wannabe) material or otherwise. Please take note everyone:

I just wanted to start off gently with this shot of the next comeback queen, Whitney Houston. I adore her. I saw that illegal clip of her performance at Clive Davis' pre-Grammy party and I am filled with hope of her return to glory. Beyonce always needed some competition anyway. But as for this dress, it's a little busy. (This was something I expected Miss Knowles to wear, not Miss Houston). The watercolour shadings are not flattering on anyone. Give this a miss. I had a dress like this. I wore it once and it's still sitting pretty in my closet. We all learn.

Sheryl Crow's dress is a lesson on proportion. The length is a little scant, hence it makes the side slit quite awkward. Otherwise, she looks great, but tone down on the fake bake.

If your name is not Angeline Jolie or Megan Fox, you must never attempt this look. Yes, that means you, Lisa Rinna. Ironically, this is the best Lisa Rinna has looked in decades. As always, watch for the embellishments, ladies. The one of Miss Rinna's gown looks home-crafty-tacky.

First of all, who the hell is Phoebe Price? What is she famous for? Someone please enlighten me. She constantly gets into the tabloid pages and gossip columns for her poor sense of style, and she's always throwing a fit. Is she someone's wife or daughter? I'd like to know why she's always so upset and dressed just as bad.

This dress gets the award for French cigarette butt pelting. Just all sorts of no, no, no.

I guess you could say if Paris is not naked, it's always an improvement. Ladies, again, watch the fake bake.

This one gets the Italian tomato pelting award, commonly known as "Aww, hell naww!" This is when you shouldn't wear last year's biggest colour trend: this year. And inner-wear-as-outer-wear was retired in the 80s, when Madonna was still that crazy Catholic girl from Detroit. By the way, the lady here is Nikki Cox, wife of Jay Mohr (the comedian). I know -- who?

This one gets the "Oh, no she didn't!" Award. Being at full term and expecting delivery on Grammy Award night, M.I.A. decided to ease herself into this ugly getup. Good Lord, you should have seen what she wore when she was performing with the "Rap Pack". I think pregnancy does all kinds of injustice to your figure and no woman should be insane enough to add on to the damage with this atrocious who-the-hell-designed-this ... I am lost for words already.


Does anyone remember how Jennifer Hudson was crucified for her little metallic shrug jacket made by Valentino that she wore with her brown Valentino gown, the year she won her Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. Yeah, even this much metallic will not fly at the Grammys. Estelle is English, so I shall use a more appropriate word for her ensemble: campy.

And last but not least, never ever wear anything Bai Ling wears, ever. This woman claims to have good taste in fashion. Every Asian on this planet is embarrassed just to have any genetic connection to her. Gawd, save us!

Smooth and silky: this is not about the best razor in the world

When I first landed in the Midwest on a mildly chilled December afternoon, I was so thrilled to not have to sweat the moment I stepped out of the front door of the residence I was staying at. This was new to me. After two decades of sweltering in the tropical heat, I was ready to indulge in my newfound curiosity of wools and cashmeres and fleece, all the wonderful things that people do not enjoy enough in winter apparel.

I soon learnt very quickly that I was not satisfied with merely buying winter apparel. As my wearing and washing went along, I learnt that fleece is cheap for a reason and anyone who bought acrylic and expected it to work like wool is wasting hard-earned money. Even as a student working for minimum wages, I understood the meaning of quality and economies of scale. You can say that my genetic fascination and appreciation of money has never failed me and as I have gotten older, (I apologise if I over exaggerate my talk of age as I am only in my 20s) I have pushed myself harder and harder to buy quality.

Some things are really worth the wait and the wages. I did not buy cashmere until I was 23 -- needless to say, I was mighty pleased with myself. The same year, I learnt to buy silk as well.

So fast forward to today, I have recently acquired a newfound interest in silk scarves. Not the type that is for utility, but the type that you wear just because you can. It's the superficial side of silk appreciation. I am only worried that my newfound fascination may slowly sucker me into paying $1,965 per pound of silk at Hermès. And I'm still wondering how I had not fallen in love with these silk scarves earlier.

I think it's a sign that I am getting old because when I was a kid, only "adults" wore silk, especially the kind with “stupid prints” all over it. Well, guess what! I like all that mumbo jumbo now. *sigh*