Go back to your box

Over two months ago, I visited my good ole Banana Republic store and bought up a whole bunch of stuff with a very generous card member coupon. On the way out at the checkout line, I spotted a few nifty looking shoes and yelled out my size. The SAs brought me the goods and I was gone. So this was my first mistake: I assumed BR sizing was on with the rest of the world. I really should have known better because at BR, my clothing size would make anyone think I were a runway model when I know even after 30 pounds is removed from my frame, I'd still be "not sample size".

Being a long-time devotee of Gap, Inc.'s only shining star, I was immensely disappointed with the shoes when I tried them on at home. The size was too big, the material horrendous. It was heartbreaking. There were leather uppers and inners and the colours were perfect. But the stiff material left much to be desired and worse of all, the pair that was designed into a wingtip Mary-Jane style stiletto was asymmetrical. I repeat: the left shoe and the right shoe did not look alike. That pair was a decent $180. People who buy Italian will tell me, "You got what you paid for, dah-ling," but I disagree. I don't care how cheap or expensive your shoes are. If they are asymmetrical, that means the world has gone to hell. I wish I had taken a picture of the shoes before I sent it back.

Eventually, I kept one pair from BR. It had passed the house testing phase and I took it to work today.

Sidebar: Yes, I do not use my purchases immediately. I usually wait 2-6 months to get stuff out into the public. It's an old habit but I have cut down the wait time significantly over the last few years.

Back to the story: I put this lovely pair of BR Nicole ombre patent leather pumps on. I walked around the office. It was all cool. Then I went down to the cafeteria for lunch. Before I could get there, I walked right back up to my desk and changed my shoes. I was pissed. These shoes were symmetrical but they hated me. The rigidity ensured that I could not take more than 10 steps and continue to feel comfortable; the leather sock lining pinch on the skin of my toes like piranhas. I don't even have wide feet and I easily wear French and Italian shoes, which are cut slim. These pumps were a disaster, a beautiful disaster.

So tell me, where else can I find ombre pumps that will love my feet without having to resort to faux leather?